Category: humor

Arrival time

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My mom has a doctor’s appointment coming up in a couple of days.

She got a reminder call this morning. The gal from the doctor’s office said that the arrival time is 11:15 am, but come 5 minutes earlier. My mom said, “Ok”and then the gal said, “We’ll see you at 11:00 am”.

My mom is elderly and has some cognition issues yet we looked at each other the same was and then snickered.  Ummmm?.?

The poor gal at that doctor’s office.  I’ve had many days like that and if her day is beginning as an ‘off day’, my heart goes out to her.

Brush ME, no ME

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Rosey always loved being brushed!  Since we’ve had her she gets excited when she sees me picking up the brush.  I was given one of the “brush” mitts.  I wasn’t sure she would like it but it seems that she likes it just as much as the brush.  Whether I get the brush or the mitt out, she is so excited she can hardly stand it.  

She’s always first.  I begin to brush her and she stays still and soaks up all the attention.  When it’s Clarks turn it becomes very comical for us.  She runs around him; she tries to get between Clark and the brush and she rubs on the back of it (while I’m brushing him).  She dances around and around wanting to be brushed again.  No matter how much she’s brushed, it’s never enough.  It’s amazing how much energy this 13 1/2 year old dog with arthritis has when it’s brush time.

Iron Gut Rosey

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Our old dog Rosey has an iron gut.  She can eat anything and she does.  She eats anything she get to.  I feed her plenty and she gets a special treat during the day, yet she goes over the kitchen floor better than a roomba.  She even used to get multiple, daily treats before our other dog had to be on a special diet.

The other day I was sweeping up all of the lab fur that had accumulated on the kitchen floor. (Which incidentally is a constant effort.) I turned to the closet to put the broom away and get the dust pan and brush.  It only took moments and yet Rosey was scouring through the pile of dog fur for whatever other crumb of food or dirt was collected in the pile.  Oh my, I laughed.  She acted as though there as a snickerdoodle cookie broken up into the pile.  She had lab fur all over her nose.  Ha ha 

I’ve probably mentioned it before … Rosey is like a toddler. She picks up anything and everything, even fuzz from a stuffed toy.  If I come towards her to get it, she swallows it as quickly as she can.  

Cat tale/tails

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I had a very large dark grey cat.  After about a year it was clear that he was going to be a very large cat.  For the majority of his 15 year life, he was about 30 lbs. 

He loved sleeping under a blanket but when he was younger he loved crawling under any blanket or rug.  Like a little kid, he thought he could not be seen when under something.

It was especially funny when he’d crawl inside a clear plastic bag and crouch down.  It was obvious that he thought we could not see him, all 20+ lbs of him as a younger age. 

Moving … in the cold

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Several years ago my son and his family moved to Chicago.  It was winter when they were moving back.  My son’s father-in-law was planning on driving the rented moving truck with the cat.  My son and I were to be in his car with the dogs. His wife flew back with the kids.

It was cold, very cold.  We didn’t get too far out from Chicago before we stopped for the night as the weather wasn’t so good.  We’re all from snow states so we’re used to nasty winter weather.

The first morning, the rental truck wouldn’t start.  We called the company to send someone out to get it started for us.

I can’t remember what day it was or how far into our travels, however … once we were in the middle of nowhere, the transmission in the rental truck started acting up.  We saw a gas station at an exit.  We parked in the lot of an abandoned restaurant, next to the gas station.  We called the company again.  Since we were in the middle of nowhere, they said it would take awhile to get someone out to us with a replacement truck and crew to switch out the contents.  

In the meantime, it was 6° outside so we sat in the vehicles, heaters on.  Thankfully the rental truck only had transmission troubles and not engine troubles so that the heater could run.

Every once in a while, one of us would run into the gas station for a hot drink or a snack.  I’m not a coffee drinker so I’d get hot chocolate.  It’s usually not my favorite yet this day, it was perfect.  My first cup was way too hot to drink so I set it outside for a minute (it may have been a bit longer than a minute).  When I got it, it was no longer hot, in fact it was barely warm. 
From then on, when I’d get my hot chocolate, I’d only leave it on the ground outside, for a moment.  

It took over 5 hours for the tow truck to come.  Instead of waiting for the rental truck company to  swap out trucks, he told us to stick the keys of the wounded truck, under the mat and he’d come back for it.  Thirty to forty five minutes later, the rental truck company guys came to swap out the contents of the truck.  

It’s funny how sitting around for hours, with nowhere to go can feel like such a long day.  I couldn’t have more grateful for this trip. My heart was so full that I got to spend 24/7 days with my youngest son. As they grow up and work long hours and are busy with kids, I don’t get many opportunities like this. It may not have been the ideal trip, but it was ideal to my heart. My son even teased that I sabotaged the rental truck so that I could spend more time with him. Ha ha

My first cold, winter move was New Years Eve 1983.  Snowy and with our six month old baby.  It seems like we move when it’s time to move, without planning for weather.

When I’m smelly

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I’ve mentioned this before, years ago I rescued 3 feral cats. One of them got diabetes and passed at 9 years old. She was queen bee of these cats. (The other two lived to be 15 and 16 yrs old.)

She had so much personality. She played fetch and I was shocked how quickly she learned it. As sweet and playful as she was, she was equally as disgusted by the other cats and myself at times. After all, she was a cat. 

When I would get gassy, she would look at me with such disgust. I could imagine what she was thinking by the tone of her look:

  • You disgusting human
  • Go in the other room, you smell;
  • What do you eat?
  • Did your mother not teach you anything?
  • If you know that makes you smell, don’t eat it;
  • I love you but geez;
  • I tried to escape but I could smell you in the other room too;
  • OMG, it’s in my nose so it’s with me no matter where I go;

You get what I’m saying. This sweet little cat would just continue to look at me with disgust until the air was clear. Ha ha ha

Oh, those things we do when we’re tired.

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Oh my … those things we do when we’re tired or sick or just not in ‘thinking’ mode.  I can’t count all of the ridiculous things I’ve done when I’m not in ‘thinking mode’. 

Many of these things have been when I’m getting up and heading to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  I’m too often walking slowly with my eyes closed. I typically have a hand out feeling for the wall so I don’t bump into it on the way to the bedroom door.  On a few occasions I’ve just walked and … yup bumped into the wall. 

It’s not just during the night tired.  It’s also those didn’t get enough sleep or sick days that I’m just not quite in ‘thinking’ mode.  Last week I opened the refrigerator door and for a split second as I was closing thought, “I need to turn the light off”.  … the light inside the refrigerator.  That was a first.  OMG. That was a an eye roll thought.  Ha ha 

We’ve all done things when not in ‘thinking’ mode that maybe we really don’t want the world to know but it sure is fun when thoughts and memories of them pop up.  

Skin Care

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About 25 years ago I was at a friend’s moms house.  I was at the counter talking with her while she was in the kitchen. 

She was about 65 years old at the time and I was in my 30’s.  We had a unique relationship as her kids knew not to talk back to her or challenge her.  I think we got along so well because, well being sassy is kind of, in my nature.  

She started raving about this new hand lotion that she got.  She said that it was a bit gritty and took awhile to soak into the skin but after it did, her skin was so smooth and soft.  


The container was on the counter.  I looked at it and began laughing hysterically.  I told her that it wasn’t hand lotion after all but a facial scrub.  

I teased teased her about it for years.  It’s one of those things we do that we’ll never hear the end of it.  This is one of those memories that makes me chuckle every time I think about it.  

My internal auto-correct

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As with most people, auto-correct is often frustrating.  For years I’ve had an internal auto-correct that would take over control of my hand when I’m writing.

I’ve been sending Happy New Year cards instead of holiday cards.  It’s unique and it used to be unexpected.

My last name is Christianson.  Years ago when I’d write Christmas cards, my inner auto-correct would take over about half way though my card list.  Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christianson.  I would have several Merry Christianson’s before I’d catch myself.  I even stopped sealing envelopes until I was sure that they all said Merry Christmas instead of a few Merry Christianson’s tossed in there.

Year’s ago when I wrote checks for everything (pre-debit cards), my auto-correct would kick in on the day of my birthday.  Every year without fail I would write a check on my birthday and it would be xx-xx-61 instead of the actual year.  It was so automatic that I would do my best to avoid writing checks on my birthday.

However you celebrate, whatever you celebrate, if you celebrate, I wish you and your love ones a safe, happy and loving season.  

Taking my own advise … or not

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I was an over-protective mother to my boys.  I have no idea how many times I’ve said, “Look both ways for cars; keep your head up when you walk; don’t talk to strangers; check in and don’t be lured by someone offering a reward to help look for a puppy; etc”.

About 12 years ago I went car shopping.  I was talking to the only salesperson at a small car lot.  He seemed a little … different but we are all a bit different to someone, right?.?   

At some point this salesperson mentioned there were puppies in a shed in the back.  Now if this were a movie, I’d be thinking, “Only in a movie”.  As the person was walking to the shed, I’d be saying, “Don’t you watch movies?”  “Leave now, RUN!”  Nope, I did it, I went into the shed to see the puppies.  I seemed to have lost all sense of reality and was memorized by the thought of seeing puppies.  

I came to my senses and left there.  What on earth was I thinking?  Thank goodness this car lot was on the corner of two very busy streets.  

Memories of holidays past … 1 of ?

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One year for Christmas I was giving my 12 year old son my acoustic guitar, which my father gave to me when I was 12 years old.  

A guitar is a pretty large present to wrap so I decided to create a scavenger hunt of sorts.  I had a large box (filled with newspapers for weight).  That box had a note where to find his gift.  

For weeks he would ask, “What’s in the box?” and I’d say,  “It’s just newspaper”.  I had fun with it but unfortunately on Christmas morning when he opened the box, he was not amused.  He was although thrilled to get the guitar.   

One other Christmas I created a scavenger hunt; he didn’t like that either.

Neither him nor I could play that guitar.  We could do little bits but couldn’t grasp it, even with lessons.  We can both sing though.  Years later, he gave his younger brother the guitar.  His younger brother self-taught himself to play the acoustic; bass and electric guitar but has trouble carrying a tune when he sings.  We all have our gifts and talents. 

Hosting my First Thanksgiving and then some …

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This morning I was thinking about Thanksgivings of my past. Thank goodness our challenges are funnier in hind-sight.

The first couple of years that my husband and I were married, we had Thanksgiving with either my parents or his. Then I wanted to host Thanksgiving at our house. Our first born was a little guy so this was a very long time ago. I was excited and had my butterball turkey ready to go. These bigger turkeys cook for hours anyway but as the day progressed into evening and the turkey still wasn’t done, we began to believe that the oven was broken.

At closer look, I had cleaned the knobs on the stove and replaced them upside down. The turkey had been in a 250 degree oven for almost 10 hours. Ugh my first Thanksgiving feast felt like a disaster. Many years later. My eldest son and his fiancé were hosting their first Thanksgiving dinner. She was a bit defensive, emotional and … competitive.

She asked me to make the stuffing because by this time I had perfected stuffing and my boys loved my stuffing enough to brag about it. Over at their home, I was given a double box of stuffing and was asked to make one. Stuffing is stuffing right? It’s kind of hard to destroy boxed stuffing.

… or so I thought. My stuffing came out just as presumed that it would. My son’s fiancé made the second box of the double box of stuffing. She looked at mine and looked at hers and had a melt down. Hers looked like … baby poo.

I tried to reassure her that everyone’s first time hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, something doesn’t turn out right. And of course, these are the times that we reminisce and laugh a about for the rest of our lives. I am so grateful that we have these memories and can laught about them.

It packs a Punch!

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There are things like n life that there’s just not much we can say or do about it but shake our heads and laugh.

Many years ago I went to work with a black eye. A co-worker asked me what happened and I replied that I got punched. She gasped and asked who punched me. …. I told her that I did.

About every 15 years or so my hand slips while I’m pulling up my covers and BAM … I punch myself in the face.

Water Dogs?

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I’ve had labs (Labrador retriever’s) for over 40 years. They are water dogs, well typically they are. One of my labs was a beautiful 100 lb female. When it rained, she would not go out until the rain stopped. She would also avoid puddles. That was hilarious to watch her tip toe through the yard, stepping around the puddles.

I had another lab who also didn’t like stepping in anything wet. When we’d go for walks he would refuse to step in any wet grass because he didn’t like his ankles getting wet. If it was raining outside and I’d open the door to let him into the back yard, he wouldn’t go. If I went out with him and made him go out, he’d rush to go potty and then back to the door to get back inside. He didn’t like it if I let the grass get to his ankle height either.

Our newest rescue dog is similar. If it’s raining outside, she does not want to go out. I have to coerce her into the yard by pretending like I’m going to run out there. She start to run into the yard and of course she goes potty and rushes back.

What is it about me that my dogs don’t like being in the rain or getting wet?

How much is left in that bottle?

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It wasn’t about being thrifty or frugal, although I attempt to be. This was just what my mom did and well, I guess it was ingrained in me.

Here’s a true recount as an example …

My boys, their dad and I were at the dinner table. Someone other than me pointed out that the bottle of ketchup or salad dressing or … was empty. I bounce into action! Super Thrift Mom grabs the bottle. Just as I am approaching the sink they all call out, “NO, don’t add water”.

Yup, that’s what I did, I added a bit of water, shook up the bottle and presto … the bottle isn’t empty anymore.

Anchovies … what a palet …

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I may have mentioned it before, however since I’m on the topic of food, I’ll bring it up again.
I love food and don’t have a great palet but the benefits to this is that I like most any food.

Many years ago … My husband used a lot of salt. I was concerned about his health so I decided to replace have of the salt in the table salt shaker to a salt substitute. I was shocked when he noticed that the salt tasted different and because I had asked him many times to cut back on his salt, he knew exactly what I had done. Do I need to mention that he wasn’t happy about it?

I don’t remember why but during that same time, we were talking about foods we don’t like. He said he couldn’t stand anchovies. A sneaky light bulb when off in my head. I was sure that I could hide a bit of anchovies in some meal and he’d never know.

Ok, so my kids and I were practical jokers. We didn’t do anything harmful just annoying at times.

Months went by and I decided that it was time to test my husband’s palet once again. I made spaghetti and bought anchovies. I chopped one, little tiny bit as fine as can be. I thought there is no way anyone could tell there were anchovies in there because it was a huge slow-cooker of sauce with 1/2 teaspoon of anchovies.

One bite and he knew. 😮 Shocking! I have always been amazed at his palete.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

For the sake of those questioning the spelling of the word ‘palet’ as I did …

Palet: Touch your tongue to the top of your mouth. What you’re touching is your palate. Palate is often used when discussing taste in a broader sense, as in: chocolate cake is pleasing to the palate.

Palette: A palette is a range of colors. It is also the board that artists use to hold and mix paint. Picture Picasso in his blue period: He is holding a palette on which you see a limited palette of blue tones.

Pallet: Pallet is a busy noun, but it’s mainly a slab or framework of wood used for carrying things. The most common type of pallet is the kind used to move cargo.

Antique or Comfort Yard Sale?

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For years when I’d hear anyone talk about their style of furnishings I’d look around and think, hmmm I have that unique look of Comfort Yard Sale. My husband wasn’t always thrilled with my easy going taste (or lack of) but we were always comfortable. With a bit of a shoulder shrug I’d think, comfort and used doesn’t have to be worn or distasteful, we’re good.

Years ago (1990’s) when my boys were young I had a very large tea pot collection. Our living room had a vaulted ceiling and looked into the kitchen. Looking towards the kitchen there was an archway and since the living room was vaulted, this archway was quite high. My husband put up shelves on the living room side of the archway for my teapot collection.

I loved teapots but was cheap so I only bought used teapots and typically from yard sales. I had a $5.00 limit on myself so I didn’t get carried away. I always liked the older looking teapots as well. They always looks great along side my grandmother’s old teapot.

One day we were having pizza delivered. I opened the door and for some reason both my husband and I were both their at the door. The teapot collection was not only visible but somewhat of a focal point from the door.

The delivery driver (pizza guy) pointed to and described one of the teapots. He told us how he had seen one just like it on the Antiques Roadshow and it it had a four-digit number on the bottom, it could be worth a fortune. While the pizza guy stood and watched curiously, my husband anxious, shacking and nervously got the ladder and carefully got the teapot. His back was turned to the pizza guy and I as he slowly turned the teapot over.

The pizza guy and I immediately knew when my husbands shoulders sunk down with disappointment. Although I have many antiques and many of those teapots are indeed antiques, antiques don’t always equal valuable. I no longer have most of those teapots yet I chuckle every time I think of those teapots.

Hostage Dog

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In the early 1990’s I saw a large dog roaming our neighborhood. This was concerning because we were/are pet lovers, had five of our own fur babies and years earlier out dogs got out of the yard when we weren’t home.

I got a long rope and got the dog to come to me. I tied it up in front of our house so hopefully its owner would see it. I gave the dog bowl of water, a couple of gnawing toys and of course a couple of biscuits.

I also looked at the dog’s tag. There was no phone number but the rabies tag was from the same vet that we took our animals to. I called the vet and with the rabies number they were able to give me the owner’s phone number.

I called the owner, told him who I was and that his dog was roaming our neighborhood and that I I had his dog tied up in our front yard. With an angry tone, the man said, “No you don’t! My dog is in my yard”! I asked him to go look because … I had his dog. He got back on the phone, very angry now and asked who I was and what I wanted. I told him who I was, where I lived and again, that his dog was wondering around our neighborhood and I tied it up in our yard so that he’d find it safe and sound.

This conversation lasted much longer than I ever thought it would. This man was convinced that I was holding his dog hostage because I wanted something from him. I finally told him to come get his dog and I wouldn’t even come out of the house so he doesn’t have to interact with me.

Yikes … someone had a guilty conscience.

Do I have to?

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How many times as kids and do we hear our own kids saying, “Do I have to?” or “Why, do I have to …?” I don’t say it out loud but the same feeling still goes through my head as an adult. Although I don’t feel like a senior, I am and therefore, many of these things have gone through my head for (gulp) decades.

I don’t mind mowing but absolutely don’t like weeding. I have my own little ten minute tantrum swirling within myself. Often times when I’m done, I think to myself, “well that didn’t take too long”.

Sewing, ugh. My mother was a “dressmaker”. I say that with emphasis because when I say she was a seamstress, she gets a bit upset and says, “I was a dressmaker”. I don’t really understand the difference but then again … sewing with a machine stresses me a bit.

When we were young she would make some of our clothes and could whip them up pretty quick. When I was in the seventh grade we had HomeEc. In my sewing class we had to based a hem. Is that right? That’s what I remember, hand stitching a hem to make a hemmed flour sack towel. I didn’t do so well. There were several projects I didn’t do well at. Our final grade was going to be on making an apron. UGH! An apron, really?

I told my mom that if I didn’t do well on the apron that I wouldn’t pass the class. She was horrified. My parents were hard on us if we didn’t get decent grades as it was but to flunk a sewing class. My mom made a cute little apron complete with a pretty little decorative pocket. She told me to turn it in as my final project. My parents did not allow cutting corners or cheating … except for this one exception.

I handed the teacher my apron with a very prideful grin. She said, “You didn’t make this.” I didn’t say I did but I shrugged my shoulders and say, “Call me mom and ask her”.

Not long ago my favorite (work outside) jeans got holes in the knees. I put iron-on patches over the knees. The next time I wore them, kneeling on the ground weeding, the patches starting coming off. Ugh. I sewed them on (by hand). Over the next couple of wearings, the jeans ripped across the leg above and below the patch. Ugh again.

How many times as kids and do we hear our own kids saying, “Do I have to?” or “Why, do I have to …?” I don’t say it out loud but the same feeling still goes through my head as an adult. Although I don’t feel like a senior, I am and therefore, many of these things have gone through my head for (gulp) decades.

I don’t mind mowing but absolutely don’t like weeding. I have my own little ten minute tantrum swirling within myself. Often times when I’m done, I think to myself, “well that didn’t take too long”.

Sewing, ugh. My mother was a “dressmaker”. I say that with emphasis because when I say she was a seamstress, she gets a bit upset and says, “I was a dressmaker”. I don’t really understand the difference but then again … sewing with a machine stresses me a bit.

When we were young she would make some of our clothes and could whip them up pretty quick. When I was in the seventh grade we had HomeEc. In my sewing class we had to based a hem. Is that right? That’s what I remember, hand stitching a hem to make a hemmed flour sack towel. I didn’t do so well. There were several projects I didn’t do well at. Our final grade was going to be on making an apron. UGH! An apron, really?

I told my mom that if I didn’t do well on the apron that I wouldn’t pass the class. She was horrified. My parents were hard on us if we didn’t get decent grades as it was but to flunk a sewing class. My mom made a cute little apron complete with a pretty little decorative pocket. She told me to turn it in as my final project. My parents did not allow cutting corners or cheating … except for this one exception.

I handed the teacher my apron with a very prideful grin. She said, “You didn’t make this.” I didn’t say I did but I shrugged my shoulders and say, “Call me mom and ask her”.

Not long ago my favorite (work outside) jeans got holes in the knees. I put iron-on patches over the knees. The next time I wore them, kneeling on the ground weeding, the patches starting coming off. Ugh. I sewed them on (by hand). Over the next couple of wearings, the jeans ripped across the leg above and below the patch. Ugh again.

Weeding and sewing are the two things that I no longer say, “Do I have to?” I know I do sometimes but I don’t have to like it. … shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders.

Moments in the life of a sarcastic family

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In 2018 my mom took her kids on a vacation (yes, me included). It was rare to have all of her kids in one setting and for a week to boot. I’m the youngest (58 at the time), my elder brother, ten years older than me with two in between.

We found that we all have the exact same sarcastic sense of humor. The teasing and bantering was a blast. There was also plenty of quality one on one time with each other that we hadn’t had in years.

One evening I was having a heart-to-heart with my eldest brother. His wife had passed four years earlier and I asked him if he was interested in getting married. I should have rephrased the question as, “Are you interested in remarrying again?” … or something like that.

The next day while we were all having lunch together my elder brother announced to everyone at the table that a woman was coming on to him the evening before. There were comments by everyone as to who this interested mystery woman was.

My other brother made a snide comment, “Was it Sarah?” My elder brother replied, “Yes, she asked me if I wanted to marry her.” Ugh.

Camping Monsoon

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Many years ago several of us went camping up past Eleven Mile in the mountains of Colorado. We planned to be up there for 3 days. There was an adult and one child in one tent and two adults and two children in another tent.

We didn’t bring anything to do in our tents because we were planned on fishing, hiking and hanging out outside. Towards the afternoon of the first day, one person was commenting on the anvil cloud as he looked up into the sky. With a roll of our eyes, my best friend and I started mocking the him (well, because we’re sarcastic like that). The sky was beautiful, except for that anvil cloud. He said it meant rain, a lot of rain. Well growing up in Colorado, my best friend and I knew that the weather could change at any moment but we checked the weather before leaving and it was going to be beautiful weather. We were prepared … probably, maybe.

Continuing to mock this man and tease that he wasn’t a weather man and it wouldn’t be too bad … it began to rain and then rain harder and then feel like a monsoon. It rained for 18 hrs, each of us with nothing to do but sit in our tents.

Lesson learned … I mock you, I get double trouble. Ha ha ha

That’s what friends do

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When I was 12 years old my folks had me stay a couple of weeks with the family of a man that my dad worked with. Their daughter and I weren’t instant friends but now 48 years we’re family. I’ve known her as my sister for a great many years.

Approximately ten years ago I flew to New Mexico and planned to drive back to Colorado with her. On the way, the snow was falling heavily. Not long after we were on Raton Pass we heard that it was closed due to bad weather. (Raton Pass is 180 miles between Raton, NM and Trinidad, CO.

I believe we averaged about 20 miles per hour for about 75 miles. As my sister drove, I would unwrap and feed her tootsie rolls, reach out with the scraper, scrape ice off the windshield and keep ice off of the windshield wipers so that she could see and … keep her entertained. It’s what we do.

About five years ago I was at her house for a visit. One evening we sat outside around the fire pit. My sister, my neice and I attempted many times to get the wood in the fire pit lit, but apparently it wasn’t in the cards.

For hours we sat around this fire pit, with no fire, laughing, crying and reminiscing. That’s what we do.

When I was young … vitamin C

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When I was young my mom made us eat oatmeal or cream-of-wheat in the winter time. I still don’t like the smell of either. My mom also made us take vitamin C every day. I had a tough time as a kid swallowing pill and well, actually I did until I was an adult.

For anyone who hasn’t swallowed a vitamin C tablet quickly, knows that bitter taste as they begin to dissolve in your mouth. For me, it was a common occurrence.

To flavor my hot cereal my mom would add brown sugar. As many people know, once the brown sugar starts getting hard, you have to scrape it or dig it out with a spoon. Often times, where you’ve scraped or dug in with the spoon, it turns white.

I can remember one time my mom put a big spoon of brown sugar in my hot cereal. I saw that white scraping in the brown sugar and began to sob. I was convinced that she crushed up a vitamin C tablet and tried to sneak it into my cereal.

In hind-sight, it would have been easier for me to take however I didn’t like the hot cereal anyway so it was like adding salt to my wounds.

New necklace pranked back

Posted on Posted in humor, Practical jokes, the things we doLeave a comment

Years ago I had a boyfriend who came home and said he had bought me a gift. He had gone to the dollar store and bought me a large, gaudy, ugly necklace. I’m sure it was meant for kids because I don’t know any adult that would wear it. The pendent was 2”-3” in diameter; plastic and stuck out like a sore thumb.

He thought he was so funny because we were going to the store and he was encouraging me to wear it, imagining that I would be embarrassed doing so. He didn’t know me as well as he thought he did.

We went to the store and I put it on before getting out of the car. Starting in the parking lot and every time we passed someone, (loud enough for others to hear) I would say, “Thank you so much for buying this necklace for me”.

Who was embarrassed? Not me.