Where visions grow and blossom
Happy New Year! I look forward to 2022 being transformative in that it’s a better year than many of us have seen a … a while.
My you find joy and laughter in everyday situations. May you have peace, good health, love and all that brings a smile to your heart.
This morning I was thinking about Thanksgivings of my past. Thank goodness our challenges are funnier in hind-sight.
The first couple of years that my husband and I were married, we had Thanksgiving with either my parents or his. Then I wanted to host Thanksgiving at our house. Our first born was a little guy so this was a very long time ago. I was excited and had my butterball turkey ready to go. These bigger turkeys cook for hours anyway but as the day progressed into evening and the turkey still wasn’t done, we began to believe that the oven was broken.
At closer look, I had cleaned the knobs on the stove and replaced them upside down. The turkey had been in a 250 degree oven for almost 10 hours. Ugh my first Thanksgiving feast felt like a disaster. Many years later. My eldest son and his fiancé were hosting their first Thanksgiving dinner. She was a bit defensive, emotional and … competitive.
She asked me to make the stuffing because by this time I had perfected stuffing and my boys loved my stuffing enough to brag about it. Over at their home, I was given a double box of stuffing and was asked to make one. Stuffing is stuffing right? It’s kind of hard to destroy boxed stuffing.
… or so I thought. My stuffing came out just as presumed that it would. My son’s fiancé made the second box of the double box of stuffing. She looked at mine and looked at hers and had a melt down. Hers looked like … baby poo.
I tried to reassure her that everyone’s first time hosting a Thanksgiving dinner, something doesn’t turn out right. And of course, these are the times that we reminisce and laugh a about for the rest of our lives. I am so grateful that we have these memories and can laught about them.
I have so many wonderful Halloween memories of when my boys were young. Back then, we often used those hard plastic masks with tiny eye holes. It was difficult to see out of those masks. Back then, we it was always snowy on Halloween. Winder coats were under the costume so most of the costumes couldn’t be form fitting.
I made many of the costumes too. Football players, Ninjas, and when they were very little they were little devils because I could sew horns and such right onto a onesie. Those are the one I haven’t let go of yet. My boys are close to 40 yrs old and I still have those Halloween costumes in a tote, on a shelf.
Many years ago when I started on my journey of eating healthier foods and using more eco-friendly products, I stopped handing out candy. I now hand out party favors. I have kids of all ages who love coming year after year for these fun little toys. They are healthier and last longer than candy.
The Teal-Pumpkin project promotes handing out items to trick or treaters that are allergy free for the 30% of the kids who have food allergies.
I love movies and have for a long time. When my boys were young there were movies we’d watch over and over and never grow tired of them. I’m still that way. I love the movies that surprise me at the end like Sixth Sense, The Others and Shutter Island. I love the romantic comedies, tear-jerkers and a good drama. I love the Pixar and Dream Works type animated movies, especially the ones that make me laugh. I am a sucker for sappy romance movies too.
I’m grateful that during many challenging times throughout my life, I’ve found the silver lining. Sometimes it’s not some ah-ha moment, divine wisdom or a sense of grateful lesson but a gift within the challenge.
My TBI was at the end of 2003. During 2008 and 2009 was by far the most challenging time of my decreased cognition. My short term memory was … well, very short. Some … well quite a bit of my long term memory wasn’t so good either.
The most entertaining silver lining as a result of my TBI came during 2008 and 2009 when my cognition was at it’s worst. I could watch movies over and over again and not remember a thing. Even the movies I had on VHS that I had watched for years became new again. It was fabulous! The only one I didn’t like was City of Angels because every time, the ending would rip my heart out and each time, I never saw it coming.
I am grateful for all the silver linings that I’ve been fortunate enough to recognize.
Just a bit of reflection and nostalgia-tripping. When my kids were young Halloween seemed to be the time of the first snowfalls of the season, in these parts. There was definitely more snow.
When we chose Halloween costumes, they had to be large enough to go over the jackets. I do remember one year (when they weren’t so young) that the neighborhood boys all dressed as female cheerleaders. If I remember correctly, I think they were very cold. I’ll post a photo when I come across it.
For years now I buy bags of selected party favors so I have about 15 varieties of little toys. I avoid sugar and don’t want to support anyone else’s sugar habits (it’s just not healthy). The Teal Pumpkin Project is about handing out treats to kids that are allergy free so that if kids have allergies to certain food, they can still enjoy the treat. I heard of them a couple of years ago. It’s actually less expensive to buy the little toys and the kids LOVE them! I have kids return each year excited to see what’s new. For the first and second year trick or treaters I usually have small bottles of ‘bubbles’ or something toddler-friendly. I get such a kick out of seeing them have fun.
Although during this pandemic I’ve social distanced, I chose to hand out these treats this year. My safety though was, once I open the door the kids choose their toy from a large tray and they leave. We don’t have too many conversations and they are not there very long. It seemed safer than a grocery store, as far as spreading. Most of the kids (few that we did get) this year were wearing masks.
I imagine this is the longest blog post I’ve ever written. I hope you get a great belly laugh reading it.
First off, let me say how grateful I am that I find such humor in my challenges and mistakes. After-all, I’m only human. I have a terrible fear of heights. Even when someone is close to the edge in a movie, my knees quiver and my stomach heads upward to my throat.
The balcony: A week after I was married (20 yrs old), we went to a concert. My husband got balcony seats. gulp I was so scared to go down the steep steps to our seat that I cried (literally). My husband was one of those very popular people and of course we were surrounded by people he knew. He repeatedly was telling people that he just got married and then would point to the girl who was standing against the wall sobbing. After that, I always made sure that if I were going down steps, that someone was directly in front of me so that basically, I couldn’t see where I was going.
I don’t like how limiting this fear is so for years, I’ve been challenging myself. This rarely turns out well but I have continued to give it a shot.
The small town bridge: Just last month, while my vehicle was in the shop I walked around town. I walked on a bridge that went over the railroad tracks. I focused on looking forward and I did great, even though the sidewalk seemed narrow and the cars went by, I did it! On the way back I crossed the same bridge. For some reason, this time the sidewalk seemed much narrower and the cars seemed to be wizzing past me. As I neared the top of the bridge I mistakenly looked outward from the bridge, my eyes dropped and I instantly went into a panic attack.
I made sure to keep breathing. My knees wanted to buckle and I found myself mindfully putting one step in front of the other and again, and again. I can’t imagine how slowly I was moving. I wanted to be rescued but that was not realistic. I kept putting one step in front of the other until I was close to the bottom and the sidewalk widened to a normal size again. whew … I made it!
The glass elevator: There were many similar instances. In 1995 I was in Nashville for work and stayed on the top floor of the Embassy Suites. It’s a beautiful hotel with a glass ceiling over the atrium lobby and, of course they have glass elevators. I got in the elevator looking just like any other adult. I pushed the button for the 9th floor, waited and up we started. As soon as we left the ground floor, all I could see was how high I was off the ground; my knees buckled and to the floor I went. I squatted on the floor until the doors opened for my floor. … at least it was most likely unforgettable and entertaining for everyone else in the elevator.
The grand staircase: While in Nashville, I also went to the Opry Land Hotel; which is another gorgeous place with many restaurants and a breathtaking atrium area. When I went in I saw a huge staircase that looked like it was from the Gone with the Wind movie set. I went up it so fast that I didn’t take time to think about how I would get down. Stairs are an issue for me so I ALWAYS use the handrails. Well, this banister and handrail was beautiful wood approximately 6” wide which of course is too wide to grip. I could gracefully put my hand on it if I were in a movie with a long flowing gown in quite dramatic fashion … oh who am I kidding? I would trip on the long flowing gown and slide my way down (hopefully on my rear end vs my nose). I stayed up on the landing until someone was willing to walk down in front of me so I couldn’t see where I was going.
The Royal Gorge bridge: Just to give you some perspective: The Royal Gorge bridge is 1260 feet long and 18 feet wide. The steel base structure is covered with 1292 wooden planks and is 955 feet above a canyon (the Arkansas River). It is also a suspension bridge so you can feel a sway as you go across it. From 1929 – 2001 it was the World’s highest bridge.
I grew up in Colorado and we would take our out of town visitors to see it. I could never go across it. I would stand at one end and … you got it … cry because I was too afraid to go across.
In the late 1990’s I took visitors (one being my chosen daughter) from the South to go see it. Two of the three I brought there were young (about 10 and 13 yrs old). I stood at one side and looked across to the other where the gift shops were. I decided I was an adult and by golly I was going to make it across that bridge.
As the kids darted back and forth looking over the side, (ha ha ha over the side, I couldn’t even look in the direction of the side). I bravely walked right down the center, eyes focused on getting to those buildings on the other side. I got about half way across and felt the sway. My knees buckled and I went down. I squatted and kept control of my nerves. I contemplated turning around and going back but that didn’t seem to be an option because I was unable to turn myself around. I took a few deep breaths, got up and with a fast-paced, focused walk, I made a b-line for the other side.
Of course to get back to the car, I had to do it again however … I had a focus point on the other side and went right down the middle walking as quickly as I could.
The ferris wheel at the North Pole: Another attraction in Colorado is the North Pole – Santa’s Workshop in Cascade, near Colorado Springs. There is a ferris wheel. The elevation of this giant wheel is 7,200 feet and as far as I know is still the World’s highest ferris wheel.
My chosen daughter at 10 years old wanted to go on it but wasn’t tall enough to go alone. No one would go with her so I said I would accompany her. The gal at the bottom that buckled us in said to give a thumbs down if we needed to come down.
Did I mention that this giant ferris wheel juts out from the side of the mountain? Just as we near the top and are hanging over the side of the mountain it stops. I’m assuming to let someone off and another person on, regardless it stopped. I opened my eyes for a split second and decided not to do that again.
Our seat was wiggling so I peaked. My dear girl was wiggling her feet. I told her not to move. She was very sweet and compassionate, wrapping her arm around me and patting me with her other hand, reassuring me that we’d be okay. I peaked down and saw the others laughing hysterically as my head was buried into the abdomen of this 10 year old girl until we got back down to the ground.
Pikes Peak: My favorite Pikes Peak quote: “The middle of the road IS my side”. As an adult I wouldn’t go to the top unless I was the one driving. There was no way I was going to be in the passenger seat, on the edge.
Needless to say, everyone loves going to amusement parks and fairs with me because I’m the one that is too chicken to go on the rides so I’m the designated “Hold this” person.
Isn’t it amazing how regardless how old we are, our grown children don’t seem to age. My oldest by is getting close to 40 years old. That’s amazing to me because for many years I haven’t felt older than 35 years old. Over the last couple of years I see myself aging, I’m feeling more like … 45 years old now.
When I think of the age of my boys I’m truly amazed. Funnier yet (to me), when dreaming they are still little boys. When I see them, I still see my ‘boys’. It’s difficult to change the dialog to men, even though they’ve been men for a long time now.
When I see anyone close to the age of my boys, I think of them as kids. I wasn’t so appreciative of older adults calling me a kid when I was 30, 35 and 40 years old. I sure understand it now.
When I was a kid, well and way into my adult-hood, I was terrified of bees and other flying creatures.
I didn’t like butterflies because they seemed as confused as moths and would flitter about aimlessly. I couldn’t dodge them because I didn’t know which way they’d be going.
I especially didn’t like bees. I was terrified of them. When I was five years old we were on a camping trip. My older brother and I were exploring and found an old ticket booth. As he opened it up we were surrounded by bees. He was stung mercilessly while I only got a few stings but one that would forever remind me. I had a little crevice in my nose for most of my life from one of those stings. (I think it finally went away about 15 years ago.)
My fear of bees was a source of entertainment for all who witnessed it. When I’d work in the flowerbeds, if a bee came I’d run as fast as I could, flailing my arms like a mad women. The elderly couple across the street loved it. I had other similar occasions where people would see me screaming and running; at picnics, in parks, etc. I’ve seen adults and kids alike, laughing hysterically at the sight.
In late 2003 I had a TBI. One of the very incredible things to come from that was that I no longer had any fear of bees or other flying creatures.
In 2005 I went into a butterfly hutch and was surrounded by thousands of butterflies, I was amazed by them.
I realized I no longer had a fear of bees when I went with my mother to a lavender farm to cut fresh lavender. I was squatting on the ground clipping and realized that I had bees buzzing all around me and I was fine.
I now have a tree not far from our front door. This time of year, as I walk by it, all I can hear is the beautiful hum, the buzzing of many bees on the blossoms and I feel a sense of awe throughout my being.
The difference? The TBI slowed me down and reconnected me to nature in a way that I hadn’t been since I was a child, living in the mountains of Colorado.
Seeded Visions